Sunday 30 October 2016

Etcetera Slams Asa In New Article

Controversial singer cum writer,
Etcetera, has written a new article
slamming Asa over her recent collabos.
Here’s what he wrote:

"I walked into the music preview
room at the radio station and I saw
one of our sound engineers
previewing Naeto C’s songs before
uploading it into the station’s new
digital library for airplay."

"I immediately walked out of the
room because I wasn’t ready to
activate my anger mode by putting
myself through another experience of
listening to another Nigerian rap
song with shallow and crappy lines
of which Naeto C is the culprit-in-
chief, only to walk into the
transmitting room and heard the
presenter on duty introducing ‘Share
my Blessing’ by Naeto C and Asa, as
the next song on the play list."

I have to admit that this time
around, I wasn’t too eager to make
a dash for the door. Maybe because
I heard Asa was on the song and
thought that it would have at least
inspired Naeto C to use better and
more inspiring rhymes. Hope is a
very dangerous
thing. It turned out that I hoped for
too much.

The first line of the song almost
pulled off my knee cap. It is the
most fatal accident I have had till
date. I almost died when I heard
“what a conundrum” within the first
few lines. What Conundrum? Like
seriously? Bros Naeto, the only thing
close to a conundrum in the whole
song was how you convinced Asa to
feature in the song.

That song has some of the dumbest
lines ever used in the history of rap
music worldwide. As I sat there
gasping for air, I tried consoling
myself that every artist is allowed
one mistake in a career lifespan and
‘Share my Blessing’ is a mistake that
won’t happen again.

But on a second thought, I asked
myself, didn’t Asa or her manager
Janet, hear Naeto C’s lines before
accepting to feature on the song? I
would have Usain-Bolted out of that
studio, screaming ‘tufiakwa gi’ and
snapping my fingers as I rid myself
of all the phloem in my system.

Asa apparently hasn’t learnt her
lessons. Her latest collabo with
Korede Bello is another career
mistake that shouldn’t have
happened. The lightening has struck
twice. Korede Bello and Asa have
succeeded where others have failed.

Koredo Bello and Asa have
succeeded in taking every crappy
song from the past decade in Nigeria
and mashed them into a musical
abomination; add that to the level of
auto-tune on Korede’s voice; which
sounds like T-Pain after he’s
slammed his testicles in a car door.
Ironically, slamming my own
testicles in a car door is something I
would rather do than listen to this
song again.
Sadly, the fiasco with Naeto C now
looks like a piece of art compared to
this song with Korede Bello. This is
a whole new grade of crime against
music. Asa, how do you explain this
to your fans? I have searched for
justification even from a musician’s
perspective and found none. The
whole song comes out childish and
guess Korede knows it too, which
explains why he had to sing it to us
as the first line that he is no longer
a child. Korede has proved
conclusively with this song that
there are two things a Nigerian
youth can’t do: play music and feign
humility. Titling your song,
“Somebody Great”, and blabbing all
through the song about “Somebody
wey dey spray millions and
somebody wey go save billions” is
that what defines greatness?
Spraying of millions? What are you
doing to yourself Asa? How did you
get yourself involved in this song?
Why did you do this to your fans?
I won’t be surprised to hear that the
sound engineer that mixed this song
is deaf. That you couldn’t hear that
the whole song is drenched in reverb
is unbelievable. For God’s sake, the
presence in the song is very
disturbing to the ears. And what is
that thing that sounds like someone
striking a pot cover with “ewedu”
broom? Please don’t tell me that it
is the crash or the hi-hats. Please
sir, can you take back your mix and
reduce the shakers. Damn it, take
back your mix and keep it to
yourself.
Asa, I swear you no try at all.
The only excuse that would probably
make some sense to me now is if I
am told that you guys were just
trying to create something for the
current generation but instead of a
smooth-rocking guitar classic, you
have instead created this audible
shit. Yes, this song is literally shit
that you can hear. It is the worst
song from Asa that I have had the
displeasure of listening.
Unfortunately though, for some
inexplicable reason, some people are
actually going to play it and like it
and start insulting Etcetera like he is
the reason the song is rubbish.
Please, the excuse that Asa was not
involved in this collaboration with
Korede Bello; that Don Jazzy
recorded her freestyle and used on
the song, is not going to hold any
water here. Nobody does that in this
age and time knowing the
ramification. And until Don Jazzy is
called out by Asa’s management, I
will assume the freestyle story is
just another industry lie and that
“Somebody Great” is a well thought
out and planned collaboration
between Asa and Korede Bello. Until
then, trying to water down Asa’s
involvement in this song will be a
blatant in-your-face insult to her
fans as much as tweaking the
synthesizer at the beginning of the
song to give it a rock guitar feel is a
blatant in-your-face insulting to all
guitarists out there.
To be continued next week.

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